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Comunidade Portuguesa de Segurança da Informação
Information Security Community Portugal




A funny Information Security Dictionary

Texto publicado inicialmente na CSO Magazine, com base em fontes como o The Hackers Dictionary" de Eric Raymond e "The Devil's DP Dictionary" by Stan Kelly-Bootle.

24/7
The window of time in which systems are most vulnerable to attack.

Access Control List (ACL)
The operating system file that gives users access to files and programs they have no good reason to access.

Analyst
A mercenary paid vast sums of money to tell you that your systems can't be secured.

Back door
A hacker's front door.

Backup
A process you don't need until you don't do it.

BC/DR (Business Continuity/Disaster Recovery Planning)
An alternate spelling for "CISO".

Biometrics
Strong authentication mechanism that streamlines insider attacks.

Bot
See "Zombie".

Business case
A creative writing project, the quality of which is directly proportional to your security budget.

Client/server
Two types of easily hacked computers.

Clean desk policy
What document users admit to ignoring during your intellectual property theft investigation.

Confidentiality, integrity and availability
The three great myths of the Internet Age.

Crackers
Hackers.

Cryptography
The science of applying a complex set of mathematical algorithms to sensitive data with the aim of making Bruce Schneier exceedingly rich.

Cybercrime
Crime.

Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS)
See "Bot".

Downtime
Refers to computer systems' natural state; the opposite of anticipated downtime.

E-Commerce
A historical fad (fashion) from the late '90s meant to generate hundreds of billions of dollars in new profits; the inciting factor that generated hundreds of billions of dollars being spent on security products.

Firewalls
Speed bumps.

Hackers
Self-righteous crackers.

Help desk
A place where rude people read instruction manuals to confused people over the phone, for a fee.

Identity theft
The transfer of your personally identifying information from corporations that want to exploit it to hackers who want to exploit it.

Intrusion Detection Systems (IDS)
Log file generators.

JOOTT ("jute")
Acronym for Just One Of Those Things; the primary explanation for most information security problems.

Laptop
A computer designed to allow employees to easily store vast amounts of customer data in the backseat of a taxicab.

Logging
The practice of filling shelves with printouts.

Logical security
A goal; also, an oxymoron (contradition).

Mission critical
Term used to help hackers identify their targets.

Non-repudiation
The opposite of repudiation; repudiation, only not.

O.S. hardening
An attempt to secure your operating system against the next hack by closing the hole used by the previous one

Passwords
Authentication tool that, when properly implemented, drives growth at the help desk

Patching
A mandatory fool's errand.

Pharming and phishing
Ways to obtain phood (i. e. food).

PKI (Public-Key Infrastructure)
A system designed to transfer all of the complexities of strong authentication onto end users.

Regression testing
The process by which you learn how the patches that fixed your system also broke your system.

Road warriors
Traveling employees responsible for delivering malicious code back to headquarters.

Scope creep
Stage three of the standard software development model.

Security administrator
Firefighter.

Security officer
Fall guy.

Total Cost of Ownership (TCO)
In security, an incalculable number always equal to or greater than the budget.

Upgrade
The process by which you introduce new vulnerabilities into software.

Virus
Sort of like a worm, but not exactly.

Worm
Similar to a virus, but different.

Zombie
See "Distributed Denial of Service".

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